Apologies for the long hiatus; I promise I wasn’t away contemplating the possible myriad meanings of life.
It’s college that’s keeping me away! (I know right?)
Didn’t think I’d live to see this day.
I always spoke of how I’d never stop writing no matter what happens and blah blah blah but here I am, writing about how I don’t get time to write anymore.
But I’m going to work on it, for sure. Once I get a lot of other things in order.
For now, I’m just here to say hello and ask you to have a little faith in me. I’m going to be back, sooner than you know.
Last few months have been crazy. With moulding myself into what college life requires, keeping up with classes, assignments, social life (LOL) and just work in general, I feel like I barely have time for myself. And when I do, I just want to sleep carelessly. What used to be two naps a day has now come down to, at times, even three hours of sleep?
Naps are a lost cause, needless to say. Unless they’re in between classes, of course.
I am better acquainted with this new reality as compared to the helplessness I felt in the first few weeks. It’s hard to believe that semester end is almost already here!
I feel like college had just begun. So cliché though, isn’t it?
Although, I’d be lying if I said I’m not excited to go back home. I’m ecstatic. I’ve already started counting the number of days in my head. I have a feeling it has more to do with me running away than running towards but I’m going to wait for time to tell.
The past few weeks I’ve been all over the place, mentally; physically, I’m compact as always. I’ve been organised and disciplined, realising how I’ve been underestimating myself in certain aspects of my life. What I haven’t done, is documented this chaos and it’s somehow getting to me now. I feel like I have nothing to look back to, nothing that will seep in through the tips of my fingers on nights when I’m caught with more words than I can ever manage to let out.
It’s probably because a lot of recent happenings have caught me off guard, with my walls left crumbling to the ground.
So I’ve decided to focus on myself regardless of the little time I get. What I’m going to do is try to piece my mind together. It’s going to be neither liquid poetry nor monologues inserted as captions at the bottom of my Instagram posts. I’m going to start from the beginning of myself. I’m going to use broken sentences that have no link whatsoever except for the person writing them.
I’m not yet sure of how I’m going to keep updating it on the blog, but I’m going to come up with a way for sure.
This space needs to look like its cared for and no one but me can do that.