it was only when you began to frantically wave your hands in front of my face that i was brought back to reality. I smiled sheepishly. Stuttering my apology through pursed lips as the diwali lights hanging from the peepal tree behind you transitioned back into focus. we both knew i had been lost in the thoughts of a person. a person i wasn’t quite ready to reveal yet. you had tried guessing but i’d shied away from your words. it was my little secret and for once i didn’t feel like i could share it with you. even now, as you sat there, grinning your stupid grin, i felt the force of your gaze like a good touch against my timid body. i smiled back. a smile followed by my quivering hands digging my spoon into the “FroYo” you’d forced me to buy. your cravings were half mine.
i felt the buzz of your ringtone even before you blinked to recognise it – that’s how well i knew you. you swiped green and smiled that smile of yours. I’m in love, it said.
i went back to concentrating on my FroYo.
five minutes later you were still on the phone. i didn’t want to look stupid so i pulled mine out as well. in an attempt to look busy, i lost myself in the wallpaper of my lock screen. it was the two of us from that little road trip we’d taken two months ago. your arms around my neck with the sea stretching behind us, we genuinely looked happy. i’d spent nights staring at this and never did the picture appear so dimly lit but before i could investigate that, you were already standing behind me. you’d hung up on your girlfriend and were now staring at my phone from over my shoulder. you were laughing.
“Are you ever going to come out of that thing.”
come out, i winced.