I could hide but does that change the fact
that my fingers often curl around people’s words
Because I want to hold on to every single syllable –
Some because I’m fascinated,
Others because I’m scared.
that my fingernails wish to dig deeper into the variations
And patterns I can feel in their ostentatious breathing,
Those brightly lit sighs and gasps that they
Were unwilling to hold back.
that I cling onto actions, both mine and others,
My tongue lingering, finding its way to every corner
So it can devour the unintended bitterness for a period
Long enough to leave a watermark on my skin.
that my insecurities spread out like a month old
Cobweb with crawl marks all over it’s backside
From all the times the spider has unsurprisingly
Tried to escape.
that I take one step forward in every relationship
And two steps backward right after in anticipation
That they might miscalculate and choose the wrong
Number – for both of us.
I could hide but does that even matter if I’m
Constantly trying to spit words of elation and despondency
In sentences that extend like unwanted creeper plants
Gradually unravelling from my past