NaPoWriMo 10/30 [Worth]

Mother 

I wish i didn’t calculate my own worth

In terms of numbers

For how can i fit in double digits

When i was born to embrace tight

Whatever came my way

From dusk to darkness

From love to war

From masks to motherhood

I am supposed to go farther away

From all that is keeping me chained.
I wish i didn’t calculate my worth

In terms of how many smiles i receive

It’s a burden i wish i did not impose

On a world that has its own secrets to keep

Both you and I are strugglers in silence

Trying to fight battles that have very little

Waiting for both of us at the very end
I wish i didn’t calculate my worth

In terms of what i can produce

For outcomes never equalled the effort put in

And what i choose to give out of my free will,

Is a decision i have to learn to make peace with.
I wish i didn’t feel the need to calculate my worth at all

This obsession with being valued and realised

And reminded that there is no one like you

Is a farce they developed to keep the hunger alive in you

So you’ll always be at crossroads, trying not to stray

From what you think will earn you your way.

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